4reallyyo

so  i ate heathy all week long..not as much as i should have but healthy regardless. and then right after getting off of here i looked in the refrigerator and there was a box of raisinettes!! And i ate them up! and then i had some sour cream and onion pringles and no, i could’nt stop there, i had a snickers too. Man..what was i thinking? I understand i can cheat sometimes but i don’t think i need to go all crazy like that. Temptation was shoved in my face all wekeend long (seems like everytime i’ve ever dieted people bring over brownies and pizza,etc..lol) We were at the drive in and i did’nt get my normally loaded w/ butter popcorn and huge cherry coke. i was  so proud! i said no thanks to all the ice cream at my sisters even! And then i did that! okay, thats over with. I am back on track now…i really can’t figure out why i did that. I was’nt even hungry. I did the eliptical this morning, hula hooped, and did crunches on that big huge ball. So i’m definetly back on track..just had to get that out there!

since school has been out i’ve been on the move it seems like constantly. I’d like to get on here more and talk w/ my buddies but i seem to have a hard time finding time! I have six children all through out the day and they are keeping me on my toes. i really have’nt got to eat as much as i should be eating and i am going to make that part of my goal for this week. I also need to find time to check in here. Sunday evenings are good because everyone goes to bed early so I’m gonna try for that and possibly a couple other evenings. I feel like i should be giving more support to people, i still have’nt figured out how to paste those pretty comments yet! so i finally weighed myself at my moms and it said 138. i’m gonna admit i was kinda bummed cause i thought surely i would have lost more than that. but i need to be more patient and not get discouraged. I also need to make sure i get all my meals in.

Everyone on this site is so, so, nice! What a great place to go for encouragement and support! I’m so glad i found this place. Okay, so this is day 2 of my protein diet..i failed to wake up early enough to excercise but i am sticking to this diet really good..and i have’nt had any cravings yet…… I think I’ll go for a bike ride w/ the kids later on. Heres a secret…I don’t have a scale in my house because i would weigh myself every time i ate something so i hope i really do weigh 145. When i went to the doctors for my thyroid about 3 weeks ago that is where i was at so lets hope it did’nt go up much higher! I’ll have to weigh myself at my moms in about a week and see where I’m at.

Sooo…I’ve always been obsessed with my weight. I’ll go back to when it all started and bring you to current. When i was a child, i was always so skinny, people use to call me “tiny Tina”. I was always the smallest in my class and I was also the shyest. I came from an abusive home ( it was’nt the worst, but it was’nt the best either…anyhow all is forgiven) Well..i had low self esteem and was basically scared to say anything to anyone for fear of being ridiculed. But..i got so many compliments on how skinny i was..people seemed to really like this about me. They would say things like ” i wish i was that skinny”, or about how they wished they had my body. Well…i did’nt get much attention at home when i was younger so i welcomed these compliments and i loved hearing them. I believe this led up to my anorexia during my teen years. I was constantly thinking about my weight..it was crazy. I was taking diet pills and throwing up all the time. Eventually i went to the hospital to get help. Shortly after, ( when i was 16 years old) I met a boy from my high school and we started dating. I was no longer throwing up, but i was still so picky about what i ate. Constantly on my mind. Well anyways…i graduated at 16 ( graduated early because i hated school) and continued dating my high school sweetheart. We found out when i was 17 that he had a two year old daughter from a previous relationship. Of course i was upset…but when i met this little girl..my life changed completly. i became a mother overnight (Her own mother gave her up) I loved her so much! I loved being a mommy! Now the world was such a better place! So Joe (high school sweetheart) and i got married. I adopted Heavenly and decided to have another child. And that is when the pounds piled on! I really thought you were supposed to eat for two when you were pregnant! It was so much fun!! I was eating everything that was forbidden before. It was great! So, I went from 120 to pretty close to 200 pounds. Wow.. that was a shocker when i gave birth to Kyrie and my baby belly was gone! My stomach looked like a deflated balloon, and i had a huge butt and thighs! Oh no! But i was so in love with my children that i did’nt give it much thought. Untill Joe decided to leave me that is. Kyrie was only 3 months old and Heavenly was 4. I was 20 years old and weighed about 170 pounds. Well anyways, alot of things changed..i became really busy and worked three jobs to support me and the girls so the weight kinda came off easy just from being so busy and for the first time in my life i was truly proud of myself. I was a single mom, and i was doing such a great job raising my girls on my own! I did’nt need a man to make me happy…I found my own hapiness within Myself! I was now beautiful inside and out! I weighed 115 and was tone. I would go to the ymca with my girls and would work out and i felt great! When i was 23, i met my current boyfriend Steve. We have a daughter named Gracie and i ate healthy through out my pregnancy so the weight was really easy to loose. Which brings me to now. I stay at home with my girls now and i enjoy every minute of it and i’m so thankful. Steve is a great provider( i do childcare in my home, but I def could’nt do it w/o Steve). The problem is…the weight is creeping up on me. I make all these meals and i eat them too!! I basically am just sitting rocking babies all day and i love it i just need to get rid of these unwanted pounds. I want to look and feel good and i want ot do it healthy!! I have three beautiful girls to be a role model for!!